Kiddiewinks
the childrens programme, spongebob squarepants has been under fire recently; american christian groups claim the character is gay and the programme promotes homosexuality. the cartoon programme, which screens on tv2 in the afternoons, has also been condemned by a new zealand school pricipal (kentigern school) for spongebob's "lack of moral awareness". spongebob squarepants is a yellow sponge the lives in a pineapple under the sea, in a town called bikini bottom.
after researching the topic thoroughly, i decided that the best source of information would come from the man himself: spongebob squarepants. squarepants admits he has been in a little bit of trouble lately. "seems that video i made telling you about something called 'multiculturalism' didnt sit well with some people. dont you worry about ol' spongebob us sponges always snap back into shape", he says.
he says he doesnt know what the "bit deal" is though about holding hands with patrick. "me and patrick hold hands all the time. he's my best friend. i like to play with patrick down in bikini bottom. he always gives me a helping hand", says queerpants.
he says sometimes patrick will dress up in fishnet stockings and high heels. "we have fun together. we have superhero costumes. im mermaid man and he's barnacle boy. bahahaaha", says squarepants.
but spongebob does admit he is gay sometimes. "im happy sometimes. especially when im making krabby patties. bahahaaha!".
squarepants creators deny that he is gay. interestingly he is not the first such character to cease controversy. in 1999 conservation claimed handbag-carrying teletubby tinky winky, and po who are played by actors in brightly coloured costumes with television screens on their tummies. it has been famous for the nonsense syllables used by the characters to communicate with each other.
reverend jerry falwell from the moral morality organisation said tinky winky was a "gay role model for children".
according to the reverend: "tinky winky has the voice of a boy but carries a purse" and " he is purple the gay-pride colour; and his antenna is shaped like a triangle - the gay-pride sybol". in 1997, the bbc, which produces the show, also allegedly wanted to fire the human who plays tinky winky, for dancing in the streets wearing only a balloon. and according to the washington post, gay people protested against this as the have "claimed tinky winky as their own".
but is this all really a reflection of the entertainment industry? or is ti more of a reflection on the minds of those who come up with the theories? perhaps dobson, falwell and chambers are unable to to dispose of their own sexually devient thoughts and appreciate the shows for what they are: chidrens programmes developed for the purpose of entertainment. or pergaps the creators of childrens programmes simply get bored and come up with ways to entertain themselves?
on that note i will leave you with an entertaining script that i found from the children's programme rainbow. for those of you who dont know, "rainbow" was a credible children's tv show from the 70's and 80's. almost too ridiculous to believe...this is taken from original rainbow scripts and there's no way these could have been done by accident. innuendo all the way...this clip was actually broadcast and watched by millions.
the sketch opens with zippy peeling a banana.
zippy: one skin two skin three skin four...
george: zippy, where is bungle?
zippy: i think geoffrey is trying to get him up.
we see a view of the door and hear bungle moaning from behind it.
bungle: geoffrey, i cant get in.
geoffrey: you managed it last night.
bungle: i know, lets try it round the other way around, ooooooooh, ive got it in.
bungle and geoffrey enter the studio with bungle carrying a hammer and peg kit.
bungle: would you stick this on the shelf george?
george: i cant reach, you'll have to stick it up yourself.
geoffrey (to camera) hello everyone, today are talking about playing.
bungle: playing with each other geoffrey?
geoffrey: yes bungle, do you have a special friend that you like to play with?
george: yesterday we played with our balls. are we going to play with our friends balls today?
bungle: yes, and we can play with our twangers as well.
geoffrey (to camera): have you seen bungles twanger?
zippy: oh i have, i showed him how to pluck with it.
bungle: its my plucking instrument.
geoffrey asks the audience if they can pluck like bungle.
zippy: i can, im the best plucker here.
george: and im good at banging. my pegs hard isnt it zippy?
zippy: wel of course it is. your peg wouldnt go in if it was soft.
geoffrey: lets get back to bungles twanger.
bungle (ecxited): oooooooooh geoffrey, we could all paint our twangers couldnt we?....
roger:banging can be fun.
jane: ooooh yes, and i was banging away all last night with rod and roger.
roger (Looking sad): yes but it broke my plucking instrument....
bungle: yes, it doesnt matter what size your twanger is.
zippy: ive got a big red one.
george: ive only got a tiny twanger. but it works well and i like to play with it.
geoffrey (to viewers): well have you got your twangers out? and remember, you can bounce your balls at the same time. if you havnt got any balls, ask a friend if you can play with his.........
...you get the picture! if you dont believe it you can watch the actual clip at http//rainbow.arch.scriptmania.com/rainb
ow_tv_episode.html
"political correctness is the language of the coward"-billy connelly.
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