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Below are the 14 most recent journal entries recorded in 9faithisavirus9's LiveJournal:

    Monday, November 20th, 2006
    11:40 pm
    you aint that lucky
    haha sorry but did you really think you were gonna get away without having to listen to my bullshit? hahaha bless your soul. aaaaaaaand ive just realised i actually dont have anything to say so i guess you're getin off easy this time.
    god damn you sick bastards

    Current Music: RHCP: fortune faded
    11:35 pm
    silence
    i'm not going to say anything

    Current Music: Live: we deal in dreams
    Tuesday, February 7th, 2006
    11:58 pm
    Kiddiewinks
    the childrens programme, spongebob squarepants has been under fire recently; american christian groups claim the character is gay and the programme promotes homosexuality. the cartoon programme, which screens on tv2 in the afternoons, has also been condemned by a new zealand school pricipal (kentigern school) for spongebob's "lack of moral awareness". spongebob squarepants is a yellow sponge the lives in a pineapple under the sea, in a town called bikini bottom.
    after researching the topic thoroughly, i decided that the best source of information would come from the man himself: spongebob squarepants. squarepants admits he has been in a little bit of trouble lately. "seems that video i made telling you about something called 'multiculturalism' didnt sit well with some people. dont you worry about ol' spongebob us sponges always snap back into shape", he says.
    he says he doesnt know what the "bit deal" is though about holding hands with patrick. "me and patrick hold hands all the time. he's my best friend. i like to play with patrick down in bikini bottom. he always gives me a helping hand", says queerpants.
    he says sometimes patrick will dress up in fishnet stockings and high heels. "we have fun together. we have superhero costumes. im mermaid man and he's barnacle boy. bahahaaha", says squarepants.
    but spongebob does admit he is gay sometimes. "im happy sometimes. especially when im making krabby patties. bahahaaha!".
    squarepants creators deny that he is gay. interestingly he is not the first such character to cease controversy. in 1999 conservation claimed handbag-carrying teletubby tinky winky, and po who are played by actors in brightly coloured costumes with television screens on their tummies. it has been famous for the nonsense syllables used by the characters to communicate with each other.
    reverend jerry falwell from the moral morality organisation said tinky winky was a "gay role model for children".
    according to the reverend: "tinky winky has the voice of a boy but carries a purse" and " he is purple the gay-pride colour; and his antenna is shaped like a triangle - the gay-pride sybol". in 1997, the bbc, which produces the show, also allegedly wanted to fire the human who plays tinky winky, for dancing in the streets wearing only a balloon. and according to the washington post, gay people protested against this as the have "claimed tinky winky as their own".
    but is this all really a reflection of the entertainment industry? or is ti more of a reflection on the minds of those who come up with the theories? perhaps dobson, falwell and chambers are unable to to dispose of their own sexually devient thoughts and appreciate the shows for what they are: chidrens programmes developed for the purpose of entertainment. or pergaps the creators of childrens programmes simply get bored and come up with ways to entertain themselves?
    on that note i will leave you with an entertaining script that i found from the children's programme rainbow. for those of you who dont know, "rainbow" was a credible children's tv show from the 70's and 80's. almost too ridiculous to believe...this is taken from original rainbow scripts and there's no way these could have been done by accident. innuendo all the way...this clip was actually broadcast and watched by millions.
    the sketch opens with zippy peeling a banana.
    zippy: one skin two skin three skin four...
    george: zippy, where is bungle?
    zippy: i think geoffrey is trying to get him up.
    we see a view of the door and hear bungle moaning from behind it.
    bungle: geoffrey, i cant get in.
    geoffrey: you managed it last night.
    bungle: i know, lets try it round the other way around, ooooooooh, ive got it in.

    bungle and geoffrey enter the studio with bungle carrying a hammer and peg kit.

    bungle: would you stick this on the shelf george?
    george: i cant reach, you'll have to stick it up yourself.
    geoffrey (to camera) hello everyone, today are talking about playing.
    bungle: playing with each other geoffrey?
    geoffrey: yes bungle, do you have a special friend that you like to play with?
    george: yesterday we played with our balls. are we going to play with our friends balls today?
    bungle: yes, and we can play with our twangers as well.
    geoffrey (to camera): have you seen bungles twanger?
    zippy: oh i have, i showed him how to pluck with it.
    bungle: its my plucking instrument.

    geoffrey asks the audience if they can pluck like bungle.
    zippy: i can, im the best plucker here.
    george: and im good at banging. my pegs hard isnt it zippy?
    zippy: wel of course it is. your peg wouldnt go in if it was soft.
    geoffrey: lets get back to bungles twanger.
    bungle (ecxited): oooooooooh geoffrey, we could all paint our twangers couldnt we?....
    roger:banging can be fun.
    jane: ooooh yes, and i was banging away all last night with rod and roger.
    roger (Looking sad): yes but it broke my plucking instrument....
    bungle: yes, it doesnt matter what size your twanger is.
    zippy: ive got a big red one.
    george: ive only got a tiny twanger. but it works well and i like to play with it.
    geoffrey (to viewers): well have you got your twangers out? and remember, you can bounce your balls at the same time. if you havnt got any balls, ask a friend if you can play with his.........

    ...you get the picture! if you dont believe it you can watch the actual clip at http//rainbow.arch.scriptmania.com/rainbow_tv_episode.html

    "political correctness is the language of the coward"-billy connelly.


    Current Mood: amused
    Current Music: Shihad: You Again
    Sunday, February 5th, 2006
    5:32 pm
    i dont even know
    i have no idea what to say except excuse my spelling ive been drinking. im listening to david bowie pretty fuckin kool. i better go coz im freaking myself out.

    Current Mood: silly
    Current Music: david bowie: im derranged
    Saturday, February 4th, 2006
    1:07 pm
    the boredom boycott
    today is pointless. there is no point to eating. there is no point to sleeping. there is no point in having fun. there is no point in thinking. there is cerainly no point in moving. there isnt even a point to breathing. it is for this reason that i invite all of those interested to joint me in a boycott of today. i am already on strike from myself for better wages and conditions but i think this day calls for further action. snide comments about the strange way in which i entertain myself or pathetic attempts to cheer my morbid spirit will not be well recieved. however anyone who sees this day with the same sarcastic, blank, unenthusiastic and rather bleak outlook as i do please feel free to join this boycott. well thats it for me. hope you feel impowered to hate the day as much as i do. yours insanely, twiggy.

    Current Mood: cynical
    Current Music: nine inch nails: the great below
    Wednesday, February 1st, 2006
    11:36 pm
    i did sumthin kool
    on wednesday i went and GOT MY MOTHER FUCKIN TONGUE PIERCED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it hurts like a mother fucker and i havnt eaten in three days but i still think its gonna be worth it. yours insanely, twiggy

    Current Mood: tired
    Current Music: uh beavis and butthead?
    Saturday, January 28th, 2006
    8:31 pm
    four weddings and a funeral is on and my music wont play
    hello hello my somewhat sober friends. i am drunk once again (not that i havnt been drunk everyday since my last entry). i am now on my fourth beer and i had a bottly of wine to even things out. ahaha im singin along to nine inch nails lol. ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh omg im gettin my tongue pierced on wednesday FUCK YEAH!!!!!!!! i dont really actually have too much to say right now wich is awfully surprising for a beat down alcoholic prison escapist like me lol. well i best ber off ile right again if i think of anything that is less likely to murder all the enthusiasm you had left for life. ok seeya yours insanly twiggy shit i nearly spilt my beer

    Current Mood: complacent
    Current Music: Nine Inch Nails heresy
    Tuesday, January 24th, 2006
    2:06 am
    if you'vce got an issue, here's a tissue ahahahhhahahahahahahsha
    hey hey guyd im totally drunk again!!!!!!!!!!!!! yeah fuckin kool of course. ooh alice in chains just came on!!!! kool. ooh hey ytou know wats great? having mu mom kmow that i drink coz now she brings me alcohol which is always good aye. man youe have noe idea how hatd im finding it to write right now!!!! pleas once again for i frae fear ive been saying this a lot lately excuse any severe erroes in spellingand punctuatuion. man im fucked. wow i just noticed that i think thats all my racent live journal entries have teen abut. justt how drink i am lol. i rally hope im spelong rite tonight fuckin ozzy yeah awsum!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 its on right now! kool!!!!!!!!! fuck i love ozzy. well i better stop writing this crap that probably only the exceptionally drunk cuold understand vefore my brain explodes from the difficulty of typing a word that llooks even slightly like englisg lol. kk well ile update sober later. seeya!! :) ps: yeah alice cooper!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yours drinkenly, twiggy :) by the way: it lies!!!!!!!! the picuture lies!!!! im a happy drunk not a sick one!!!!!!111 WOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! fuck yeah systems on now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! seeya!!!!!!!1 :)

    Current Mood: drunk
    Current Music: alice cooper: poison/system of a down: streamline
    Sunday, January 22nd, 2006
    12:49 am
    i dont have too much to say right now
    i dont have too much to say right now so this will probably be emensly boring. ive been drinking again and i fuckin love it. lol. so please excuse any severe errors of spelling and punctuation. aaaaaaaaahhhh nothin better than bein drunk at any number of inapropriate times eh. yup. well today was highly uninteresting although i thank becca, michelle and amber for this mornings surprise visit. 2 ys 4 me 2 ys u r. fuck i love this song!!!! its static x: cold. i think ile have another drink. lol maybe i do drink too much. ah well maybe itl knock off ten years of my life but hey i wasnt gonna do anything with them anyway. fuck i cant wait to get korns new album. should be awsome. haha i cant believe i just used the word awesome. told you i had nothing to say. yup thats it i am officially boring as a mother fucker. better take me back to the warehouse for a refund. until then i should just go get more drunk :) now isnt that the greatest and most original idea ive ever had. . . well judging by my usual standards, probably. well im off to get pissed off my face. goodnight all. mine insanely, twiggy.
    hey i found a picture of your wife michelle!!!!

    mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm sexy
    ooooooooohoohoohoohoooooooooooo (shudders from the sexiness)

    Current Mood: naughty
    Current Music: alice cooper: lock me up
    Saturday, January 14th, 2006
    11:31 am
    nothing in particular
    hello my young friends today i am absent of my contacts and therefore cant even see the computer screen from here so i'll just have to assume i havnt made too many mistakes. i am also drinking bourbon and as such getting drunker as this entry goes on so bare with me as the spelling gets worse. ah just like me isnt it drunk at 11:42am but im still hungover from yesterday so i feel like crap anyway but oh well man this is hard to write mmmmmmmm bourbon even though its not as good when you're on the verge of throwing up. lol im not very smart l8ly im not sure if its because of my new best friend mary ooh hey its lil jon haha kwl oh fuck im dizzy i think i maite go fo a walk to get rid ogf the bourbon cans and then cum watch my manson dvd dats wat i did yesterday anyway i spose i btter go sorry for wasting your time fuck im drunk k wekl i'll write to all you mofos l8er coz im finding this incredably difficult oohj hey i mite go see my sis lol yeah kool shez kool man i need my friend mary she da shit haha i dno wat the fuck im talkin bout and i can barely hear my music lol im fucked as haha kk seeya l8er mohter fuckers lol luv ya lol seeya yours drunkenly squazimodo... haha im fucked. i cant feel anything rite now. laterz.

    Current Mood: drunk
    Current Music: Nine Inch Nails: Get Down Make Love
    Saturday, January 7th, 2006
    10:45 pm
    get your ass to skool
    dear michelle, amber and kathleen you are bumholes. big smelly bumholes. today was boring as a mother fucker coz you guys thought you wudnt bother to show up. that is y i am here to instruct you to please shave your hairy dags. you are hereby disowned. (please come tomorrow). i will see you then you hairy smelly bums. the bus is too expensive. yours sincerely: the hypocrit. ps: get your asses to skool. grrrr. u suck emense amounts of donkey penis. thankyou for your time. i am finished.

    Current Mood: amused
    Current Music: Nine Inch Nails: Get Down Make Love
    Thursday, January 5th, 2006
    3:56 pm
    did ya find it funny? didnt think so.
    ive been cleaning my room today coz its the 1st time ive bin home in months im always busy with my new best friend lately (mary joanna). my room was even more disgusting than i thought it would be and i have been attacked and practically mawled to death by at least 16 different son of a mother fucking ugly spiders. lol. ive spent all morning trying to kill the little bastards. we aint really doin christmas this year which means there's gonna be all the over advertised and over rated bullshit of the holiday to deal with and none of the benefits so i will be in an extremely bad mood and anyone who even so much as begins to utter the words to or hum a christmas carol with imediately be severely beaten. :) i wonder what song they're gonna p;ay next... oh hubert cumberdale you taste like soot and poo :( i think my younger and somewhat intellectually challenged brother is trying to commit suicide by jumping out of a one story window situated no higher than a metre off the ground or perhaps he is trying to leap into the lawn mower as my mother (living proof that dinosaurs once roamed the earth begins to break her own back trying to reclaim the strike she hit almost fifty years ago. i have no idea if that over sized sentence made any sense whatsoever but figuring that out that would require reading it agai and im afraid i just dont have the attention span nor patience to endure the fruits of my own idiocy. how d'ya miss a half naked indian for gods sake? my launchcast seems to have putted out so i think i mite just go to my mates and enjoy a quiet sesh oh no wait the music has made a dramatic re-entrance with one audioslave. what a comeback! sometimes i think i AM a paid advertisement. i love guitar solos. i love ozzy. i love alice cooper my mom is dating a 38 year old dude named hellraiser who likes my music and i believe he is about to be mysteriously choked to death in his sleep as of yet police have no leads. ahahahahahahahaha (laughing insanely) ah the peak of boredom where sexual inuendos and toilet humour become my highest form of wit. on the road to nowhere. emtiness is loneliness and lonliness is cleanliness and cleanliness is godliness and god is empty just like me. now lets have a hand for the smashing pumpkins. a pill to make you numb a pill to make you dumb a pill to make you anybody else but all the drugs in this world won't save her from herself. marilyn manson. just go back to sleep pay no mind to the rabble count the bodies like sheep to the rythim of the war drums. goodnnight goodnight parting is such sweet sorrow that i shall go clean the filth of my room till it be tomorrow. ps: seriously, i found an old meusli bar that was growing a human head!! mine sincerely, squazimodo.

    Current Mood: cynical
    Current Music: nine inch nails: sin (long): sin (1991)
    3:53 pm
    you probably wont find this funny
    you probably wont find this funny.

    Current Mood: indifferent
    Current Music: the tea party on launchcast
    Sunday, January 1st, 2006
    3:02 pm
    nothing of particular interest posted by no one worth listening to
    well hidieho my happy hairy little friends! ooh! hold on chilis just came on my launchcast!! as im sure you're all interested, i no nothing about computers and have virtually no idea how to use this fucking lj website and i hope you all find that so terribly amusing that you have to choke just a little bit. lol. because i myself am on the brink of insanity as silent lucidity envelopes me. hey it's audioslave!! kool. it somehow, to my annoyance seems to be tuesday today and i am getting the sneaking suspicion that time is lying to me while having an affair with my best friend (mary joanna). my life seems to be going to hell so fast i think i might need help finding the ground. lol what a ray of sunshine i must be on the dark pitt of boredom that seems to be the world right now. i wonder if shelly belly went to school today... if not she's probably on this site right now... i wonder if i peer at the computer screen close enough in a rather creepy fashion if i see the little bastard typing an entry right now... oh and for those of you who might still be wondering: i (despite what you may be told) am not mildly retarded. however, my somewhat dry and rarely appropriate sense of humor does tend to make people begin to voice the opinion that i am mentally subnormal. they might also say something like jesus son you're about as useful as a cock flavored lollipop haha well maybe not but that's what i would've said! i may not no much about anything but if you ever feel the need to know what it feels like to be the long term sex toy of an incredibly hot stoner slut that doesn't know the difference between being a friend and being a boyfriend and whom i wouldn't trade for a backwards boyscout if you paid me to then please do not hesitate to ask. well i thought i was funny... turns out im not... yours insanely: twiggy (brutally honest since 1990)

    Current Mood: (literally)
    Current Music: Nine Inch Nails
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